Megan. 27. Bi. Tokyo. Currently obsessed with: The Umbrella Academy, Top Gun: Maverick, Marvel, Wonder Woman, Mad Max: Fury Road, Pacific Rim, The Hobbit, Hayley Atwell, Tom Hardy, Sebastian Stan, Chris Evans, and many, many other things.
The millennial litmus test for sexuality was 100% Pirates of the Caribbean. I was 13 when the first movie came out. Literally everyone walked into that movie having been lured there by the attractiveness of Orlando Bloom in LOTR. The truly straight girls had been drawn in by his entry-level attractiveness and walked out lusting over the significantly older and manlier Jack Sparrow. The others had been unconsciously drawn in by Legolas’s femininity and walked out with their eyes opened and lusting over Keira Knightley.
Important missed categories that have been pointed out to me:
People who were mature/bisexual enough to be into Norrington from the start
Bisexuals who wanted to be part of a main character quadrouple
People who found nontraditional love in side characters/Barbossa
People who caught gender envy from Captain Jack
Asexuals who just really like ships, like actual boats ok
Not yet mentioned:
People whose sexuality and/or very specific fetishes was not fully awakened until Davy Jones came on the scene
when I was 14 I worked in a grocery store and one day I got to bag Stephen King’s groceries and of course, being the little horror fiction nerd I am I was completely starstruck
I think he thought I was gonna ask for an autograph because I was not even lowkey staring I was full on moon-faced and bouncing and he kept looking over at me hesitantly like aw jeez kid fuck off
anyways I finally managed to squeak out that I was a huge fan and asked for advice on writing, “how do I write as well as you do?” in my horrible thick German accent and broken ass English and he gave me the best writing advice I have ever received
“shit kid, stop worrying about how other people do it and just write your story”
14 years later my wife and I nearly hit him with our car because he was jaywalking
driving is fucked up who invented this shit. sit in the metal death box and go one million miles an hour down this road. dont hit the other metal death boxes also going a million m/h or youll die. they all have free will as well btw.
i think it would be better if all the metal boxes were linked together, and maybe the person in the very front could do all the steering. and it could be fit onto some sort of track so it’s safer. but it is probably not possible
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